Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
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