I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
