just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
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