these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize