I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Randomize
