Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
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