Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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