theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
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