You smell like a Billy Joel song
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
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