marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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