Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Randomize
