Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
