What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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