You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Randomize
