I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
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