Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
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