Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
