Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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