Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
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