please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Randomize
