very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
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