Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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