im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
I'm like, not good at living.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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