If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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