My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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