broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Randomize
