is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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