who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
vagina is talking i cant
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
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