i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
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