That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
you had me at cake vodka
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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