I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Randomize
