So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
