mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
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