ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Randomize
