Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Randomize
