Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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