drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
