I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Randomize
