I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
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