Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
