She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
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