Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Randomize
