Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
