Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
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