We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
Randomize
