wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
