It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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