If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Randomize
