well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
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