Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Rumble strips road head = magical
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
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