Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
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