We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Randomize
