my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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