first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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