I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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