I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Randomize
