I want to stick my p in your. b.
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Randomize
