just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Im part way to drunk.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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