I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Randomize
