It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
