u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
