did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
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