Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
How does one acquire holy water?
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
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