I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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