Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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