your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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