problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Randomize
