if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
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