people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
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