I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
The ass gains better be worth it
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Randomize
